A good pun is its own reword.
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call
what they do "practice"?
Don't marry a tennis player -
love means nothing to them.
Common sense is the least
common of all senses.
When everything's coming your way,
you're in the wrong lane.
Why are they called apartments,
when they're all stuck together?
Why do scientists call it research
when looking for something new?
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea..
. does that mean that one enjoys it?
If con is the opposite of pro,
is Congress the opposite of progress?
The trouble with political jokes is that they get elected.
How is it possible to have a civil war?
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Bacteria: the only culture some people have.
I just got lost in thought…it was unfamiliar territory.
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
The differences between theory and practice
are greater in practice than they are in theory.
Everyone has a photographic memory.
Some don't have film.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
I'm a kleptomanic. What can I take for it?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist
but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
In a nuclear war, all men will be cremated equal.
Be careful with that saw!, Tom said offhandedly.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
I was a banker, but lost interest.
Diarrhea is hereditary; it runs in your genes.
Help stamp out philatelists.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Rehab is for quitters.
Police Station toilet stolen....
Cops have nothing to go on.
I won't rise to the occasion,
but I'll slide over to it.
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